What gives you most satisfaction – the start of a new relationship, when there are so many things to find out about each other, or the security and shared experiences of a long-established partnership? Apologies if that sounds like a quiz on how to find true love, writes Carolyn Henderson. After all, building a relationship with a horse has much in common with finding your ideal human partner, except you can have the former vetted and you can’t sell the latter if he/she proves to be unsuitable.
If perseverance pays off, you eventually reach a happy stability where you know each other inside out. You can then ride off into the sunset, either figuratively or literally. A few lucky people can instinctively tune in to any horse and get the best out of it. The rest of us have to try harder; we might speak the same language, but we need to adapt our accent to establish a mutual understanding. Riding different horses is good for us, because it stops us being complacent. It can also prove that a horse with whom you enjoy a long-standing partnership is a treasure on four legs, however he behaves or performs. Horses might be unpredictable by nature, but eventually you get to the stage where most of the time, you get the right answer even if you fluff the question slightly. You also know how he or she will react in most situations. Note: most. One of the joys of any long-term relationship is that your partner can still surprise you, hopefully in a good way. I had a much-loved Irish Draught gelding for 18 years, until he died at the age of 22. He was huge in stature, generous in temperament and had a massive sense of humour. When he was excited, he would bounce up and down on his front legs and snort. After two years, I stopped worrying about whether he was going to do an impression of Champion the Wonder Horse. (If you’re too young to understand the reference, look it up.)
After eight years – I told you I had to work at it – I’d learned enough to channel the bouncing into a decent Piaffe. One of his successors has been with us for eleven years. That may be unimpressive compared to the length of some partnerships, but it’s enough to know that I wouldn’t swap him for anything. He isn’t a world-beater, but neither am I. We enjoy what we do, we’re successful at our level and we’re happy to see each other every morning. What more could I ask for? Experts say there’s no such thing as a perfect horse, but there are horses with whom you can build perfect relationships. If you’ve got one, do tell us.